Dear Editor,
I am due to finish here in
CURRICULUM VITAE
Name: Date of Birth: 07/09/57-ish
Profession: Lots Nationality: British
Education:
1960-1969 Westcott C of E Primary School
1969-(May-June) Mrs O'Brian's School for Young Ladies
1970-1975 Stavros'
1975-present The
Books Read
Readers Digest "I am Jane's body" Teach Yourself Brain Surgery
The Zen Approach to Project Management (Nearly finished it) Hash International
A big red one, but I can't remember what it was about
Also (periodically) VIZ, Private Eye, Private, Pattaya Weekly Free Ad Mag, Grosse Blubsen
Qualifications:
25yards breaststroke (1958)
Golden Woggle (17th Dorking (Westcott) Wolf Cubs)
Open University BA(Hons)-Needlwork and Brain Surgery (with Heavy Engineering)
Membership of Professional Bodies:
Member of the Institution of Needlework and Heavy Engineering
Key Experience
Ron has over 25 years experience of doing all sorts of things, including.....................(fill in the space).
Employment:
Ron has done loads of jobs including Petrol Pump Attendant, Barman, Ice Cream Salesman, Wheelbarrow fabricator and painter (also stuck on the little plastic labels), civil engineering, project management, Whipper-in for the Surrey Union Foxhounds.
Papers/Publications/Television Appearances
The
101 things to do with a Condom (Dhaka British High Commission News -rejected)
101 things to do with a used Condom (ditto)
Dino the Dinosaur(
Oh to be in
Living with Piles (Girl Guide Weekly)
Living with Someone Else's Piles (Hobbies Magazine)
Crimewatch (Sept 94)
9 o'clock News (Various-often with a coat over my head)
Languages:
Comprehension Spoken Written
French Oui Oui Un peu
Dutch Ja Dat ook Maar 'n beetje
German Donner und Blitzen Reeperbahn 9
Japanese Who cares
Bangla Fluent
Yiddish Oi veh!
Rubbish No Frequently (especially in the Club
Hobbies:
Languages,